**Introduction:** The James Webb Space Telescope has done it again. NASA announced that JWST has captured the most detailed images ever of gas feeding the supermassive black hole at the center of galaxy NGC 4696. Scientists are overjoyed: finally, we can watch a black hole enjoy its cosmic meal in stunning 4K resolution. This breakthrough promises to unlock secrets of black hole accretion and galaxy evolution. **The Doubt:** But hold on—if astronomers can now see exactly how much gas a black hole is gulping down, what's to stop this technology from being used to monitor our own consumption? The same sensors that track swirling gas clouds could easily be repurposed to track your midnight snack raids. Already, tech companies are salivating at the idea of "cosmic-scale behavioral profiling." Could your smart fridge soon report to your insurance company that you opened it too many times in one night, based on algorithms developed for the JWST? **The Consequence:** The logical conclusion is a world where everything is measured against the black hole's appetite. Insurance companies introduce "Black Hole Adjusted Premiums": if your galaxy's central black hole is particularly gluttonous, expect your property insurance to skyrocket. Social media explodes with "black hole mukbang" influencers trying to consume more than the black hole. The UN forms the "Committee on Cosmic Consumption (CCC)" to regulate black hole diets and impose carbon taxes on galaxies with excessive accretion rates. Data brokers start selling "cosmic consumption profiles" to advertisers, targeting you based on how your snacking compares to a black hole's eating habits. The space tourism industry offers "Black Hole Buffet" packages—all-you-can-eat gas clouds for a price. **Conclusion:** As the JWST continues to zoom in on these cosmic feeding frenzies, we must ask: are we merely observing, or are we setting the stage for a universe where even black holes are subject to performance reviews and data mining? In the end, who is really feeding whom, and are we next on the menu?