In a bold move that turns the courtroom into a digital sandbox, a coalition of states is suing Meta, alleging that the social media giant designed its apps with one goal in mind: to hook young users like a dopamine-slinging carnival barker. The complaint, filed by attorneys general from New York to California, claims that features like instant notifications, infinite scroll, and the notorious like button were engineered to maximize screen time and minimize mental health. Parents are relieved; finally, there's a villain easier to blame than broccoli. But wait—could this be a smokescreen? The same states that ban flavored vapes also fund after-school video game tournaments. Is a Supreme Court justice about to ask, 'What is a like, anyway?' The real question: If Meta's algorithms are so addictive, why haven't they solved the only true addiction—people checking their email for free samples? Here's the slippery slope: If the states win, Meta might be forced to nerf the like button into a 'meh' button, or worse—replace infinite scroll with a single, polite page turn. Data brokers will then mine your 'meh' data to sell you bland life insurance. Meanwhile, Tulip traders in 1637 were probably fine, but your teen's TikTok history could become Exhibit A in a class-action lawsuit against your parenting WiFi password.