In the wake of catastrophic flash floods that have claimed over 1,000 lives, Nepal's government has introduced a groundbreaking initiative: the 'Smart Mass Burial' app. Designed to expedite the identification and burial of victims, the app uses facial recognition and GPS coordinates to ensure each body is placed in a pre-dug, numbered grave. 'It's like a checkout system for the afterlife,' said a cheerful official during a press conference. 'No more confusion, no more muddled paperwork. Just scan, bury, and go.' But as the app gains traction, a troubling question emerges: what happens to all that biometric data? Privacy advocates are raising alarm bells. 'Once you're dead, you can't consent,' says Dr. Rita Sharma, a digital rights activist. 'But the government is scanning faces, cross-referencing with census data, and even logging your last known location. That's a treasure trove for insurance companies.' Indeed, the consequences could be farcical. Already, whispers circulate that life insurers are lobbying for access to the app's data. 'If you died in a flood zone, your living relatives might see their premiums skyrocket,' warns Sharma. 'And data brokers are already packaging 'post-mortem profiles' for sale to advertisers. Why else would a tombstone company suddenly know your coffee preferences?' Meanwhile, the app's premium features—like 'VIP Burial Plot Upgrades' and 'Cloud-Based Memorial Livestreams'—are raising eyebrows. 'For a small monthly fee, you can ensure your grave is never forgotten,' boasts the app's store. 'But what if you can't pay? Do they dig you up?' asks a bewildered citizen. As the floodwaters recede, the real question remains: with all this efficiency, who is really being served—the dead, or the living who profit from them?