A recent report, leaked by a source who wishes to remain anonymous but is definitely not a disgruntled IT worker, claims that Iranian actions have inflicted billions of dollars in damage to U.S. intelligence sites. The report, which has sent shockwaves through the national security community, describes a series of sophisticated cyber operations that have left critical infrastructure in shambles. But wait—could it be that the 'damage' is actually just routine maintenance expenses? Sources inside the intelligence community hint that many of the 'Iranian attacks' were simply the result of employees accidentally clicking 'Reply All' on internal memos, or the infamous 'I forgot my password' virus. One anonymous analyst, speaking on condition of anonymity, admitted, 'We’ve been trying to blame the broken coffee machine on Iran for weeks.' If we accept that Iran is responsible for billions in damage, then logically we must also accept that Iran is the sole reason for the existence of the 'Your PC needs to restart to install updates' notification. Furthermore, the intelligence sites are now considering filing a claim with their insurance company, but are worried that their premiums will go up because they've been using the same antivirus software since 2003. In a world where every forgotten password becomes a 'state-sponsored attack,' the line between actual sabotage and mundane incompetence blurs. The Pentagon is reportedly investing in a new training video that will teach employees the difference between 'cyber attack' and 'I spilled coffee on the server.' So, as we ponder the true cost of national security, we must ask: is Iran really that powerful, or is it just that our intelligence sites are running on Windows 95?